Poor Tajima
by ScarlytteNightshade
Summary: No matter how many times they warn him, Tajima can't resist teasing Nishiura's battery. Drabbles
1. Poor Tajima

~~POOR TAJIMA~~

Fanfic: 1364

Rating: T/M

Summary: Poor Tajima...why does he always seem to say the worst possible thing and set Abe into a homicidal rampage? At least Mihashi had been holding the bat.

Character(s): hinted Mihabe, Abe vs. Tajima

Genre(s): general, humor.

Date Written: 15 June 2011

Date Published: 17 June 2011

Word Count: 211

Dedication: to baby-sitting! And pools.

AN:/: And the one bratty kid you wish would STFU.

* * *

><p>"I'm just sayin', anyone else notice how it's always 'my Pitcher?'"<p>

The team cringed as they yet again tried to warn their beloved prodigy of the impending doom lurking just behind his back. The poor kid had * just * been released from the infirmary from the _last _time he made a crack about the closeness of Nishiura's battery.

Hanai gulped audibly as the murderous intent grew within Abe's "I eat yo' babies" face. Actually, the entire team showed their wisdom—gasp—and retreated to the outfield. _Far_ from home plate...Abe's domain.

Mihashi's squeak alerted the much shorter kid to the danger behind him.

Tajima winked. "Eh, Abe, have fun dropping the soap for * your * pitcher?"

Tajima "fell" onto Abe's fist. Repeatedly. With great enthusiasm, the others would add later as they helped the team idiot _back_ to the nurse.

"Well, " Tajima spat through a wad of blood. "At least Mihashi had the bat."

The others shuddered. They could only imagine...


	2. Bad Connection

~~BAD SIGNAL~~

Fanfic: 1419

Rating: T for obscene gestures and threatening of lives...or just Tajima's, really.

Summary: Mihashi hits Tajima square on the chest during a game for making dirty signs. Poor, poor Tajima.

Character(s): insulted!Mihashi vs. aching!Tajima

Genre(s): humor

Date Written: 24 June 2011

Date Published: 5 July 2011

Word Count: 307

Dedication: VA coz their baseball team is BEASTIN by holding themselves at two runs and going for twelve innings after scoring their second in the eighth. BEASTS!

AN:/: I own nothing. Forgive crappiness. I'm bored and wanted to write to stave of sleep.

Tajima grinned.

Mihashi floundered.

The entire stadium nearly died after what came next.

The poor, misguided soul of Tajima held two split fingers, but instead of down in part of a sequence, he brought them up to his lips before spelling out Abe in sign language. The instant he finished the motion, he regretted it.

Anger flared in Mihashi as he literally hauled off and nailed Tajima in the chest with a fastball. Hard. His fastest time in fact, the megatron registering it as a 133 mph ball. The ump just stared, not even bothering to help the stunned catcher to his feet.

The batter fainted. Um, what happens when that happens?

The megatron did an instant replay of the amazing scene, as if to assure themselves that the pitcher with legendary control had * really * just done that.

Yep. He had.

The Nishiura players broke the silence first as they laughed until passing out. Well, except Abe, but he is kinda still too stunned to really say anything, he also couldn't do much seeing as he was in the . Then, then he starts screaming.

"TAJIMA IF YOU COST US THIS GAME I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS!" The furious catcher steps down from the bench and tries to take a step only to fall on his face unconscious. Yeah, like Momokan was going to pick him up and put him back on the bench.

The umps called a meeting on the pitcher's mound. Um, yeah, maybe Mihashi shouldn't have done that, but really, did Tajima * have * to antagonize the battery? Really?

"We're not going to count that throw. Do NOT do it again."

Mihashi floundered, doing his best impression of a fish. The umps smiled, remembering their days on the field.

Ah, baseball, what would the world do without it?


	3. Harder

~~HARDER~~

Fanfic: 1363

Rating: T

Summary: When Mihashi explains why everyone is laughing, Abe puts them all in the infirmary. :D

Character(s): Angered!Abe vs. The Team

Genre(s): Humor, hinted Bromance.

Date Written: 9 August 2011

Date Published: 9 August 2011

Word Count: 278

Dedication: School...I missed you. Thanks for letting up on the brutality of homework!

AN:/: I own nothing!

"Harder."

A terrified squeak.

"Harder!"

Repeat said squeak.

"Dammit Mihashi, HARDER!"

Abe's groan scared the team as they hugged the corner of the clubhouse. Until a certain buffoon entered the equation...

"Yo', Abe! Teachin' Mihashi to handle your bat?"

Abe nodded, oblivious to the grin on Tajima's face and the bright blush on Mihashi's. The entire team left their hideout to gawk at Abe. Was he * really * that stupid? Or had he * really * been doing * that * with Mihashi?

"Mihashi, were you really that bad?"

Mihashi sputtered, gripping the wooden bat in his hands until his knuckles turned white. "N-no, it's n-not what-t you think..."

This clued the slightly dense catcher in to the fact that something was up. "Tajima, why do I have to threaten your life every time I see you?"

The tiny clean-up hitter shrugged. "I dunno, I think you get off on it."

Abe growled, but abstained from using Tajima's face for batting practice. Well, at least until Mizutani and Hanai could no longer hold it in...

"A-abe, they think w-we w-were doing...* that *." Mihashi's face brightened—that was possible?

Abe's face darkened. The entire team—minus Tajima and Mihashi—sobered and backed away. (_Seriously, how does Abe's _'I eat babies'_ face * NOT * scare Mihashi at times like this? _Remarked Sakeguchi to Izumi.)

Tajima was the first to get it.

* * * CENSORED * * *

Coach Mo rolled her eyes at the sickroom filled with injured players. "Will you ever learn * NOT * to antagonize Abe?"

_**"YES!"**_ X 8.

Why did she not believe them...?


	4. Bad Habits

WARNING: BL/BROMANCE/SHOUNEN AI. Don't like, skip this chapter. :D

~~Bad Habits~~

Fanfic: 1362

Rating: M, but most likely overrated.

Summary: Tajima teaches Mihashi a bad habit...undressing.

Character(s): TajiHana, MihAbe

Genre(s): Romance, humor

Date Written: 8 August 2011

Date Published: 13 August 2011

Word Count: 255

Dedication: School...well math this time...you're not so evil anymore!

AN:/: I own nothing. Probably not even the idea. :D Oh, no real plot. C:

"Dude, we're not going to get caught."

Captain and vice-captain groaned at the sound of—well, for them at least—terror. Really, what could...the...um...Tajima be doing? And more importantly, * who * was he doing it with?

"B-but Abe-kun-"

"Ah, forget about him."

Hanai—who, thank whatever-you-want, had the bat as he tripped Abe to keep him from murdering his beloved clean-up hitter. _Besides_, Hanai thought as he joined the catcher amongst the underbrush,_ at least whatever they're doing, we can see._

Poor Hanai...but feel the worst for Abe. XD

Tajima lay stretched before them in the grass beside the clubhouse, clad only in thin briefs. His tanned skin—seriously, did he * ever * wear clothes?-and compact muscles brought drool to Hanai's chin, but fury to Abe's heart. Well, that and a nosebleed, but that wasn't Tajima...

Mihashi leaned against the wall wearing flimsy boxers with little baseballs. His hair dripped in the stifling heat. Beads travelled down a toned chest—hello, the guy only worked out every day for hours at a time—to slip between the waistband of his boxers.

* Flames of Moe here. *

As blood began to pour from Abe's nose, Mihashi opened his eyes. The two peepers made 'oh sheeeeetttt' faces

Mihashi, however, smirked quite sexily as he caught sight of Abe and Hanai.

Abe fainted from blood-loss, with Hanai shortly behind him. Mihashi smirked again. He would have to protect Tajima from Abe later on, but it would be worth it for _this_ little gem of info...LOL, poor Abe...


	5. Classroom

~~Untitled~~

Fanfic:

Rating: T for obscene gestures and threatening of lives...or just Tajima's, really.

Summary: How often must Mihashi hit Tajima for it to take root?

Character(s): BAMF!Mihashi vs. Scared!Tajima

Genre(s): humor

Date Written: 22 September 2011

Date Published: 22 September 2011

Word Count: 201

Dedication: The thunderstorm that cleared away my writer's block. :D Thank you.

AN:/: A spin-off of my own story...I know...it's sad.

Mihashi glared at the poor clean-up who had recently earned his irritation.

Gasp! An irritated Mihashi? That's impossible! But it's not...Well, at least not normally, but then again Tajima had slapped Abe on the ass. A big no-no in Mihashi's book.

_He_ didn't even get to do that.

"_Tajima._"

Abe paled at the lack of stutter in his pitcher's voice. They boy almost sounded...angry? What? How was _that_ even possible? He paled even more when Tajima ignored the danger and continued groping Abe's assets. He could almost hear the instant Mihashi's mind snapped. He'd seen the beautiful wind-up enough times to know when Mihashi was about to nail something. However, this one was new. A Sinker? It dropped and dropped and dropped...it seemed faster, if the 'thwack' of the ball just above Tajima's "monster" said anything.

"Eep."

Mihashi smirked at the terror evident in the classroom's faces. Yeah, he knew and they knew that he hadn't missed by accident. "Going to do that again?"

Tajima, shaking in—not fear (he certainly was'nt afraid of the meek boy)-admiration of his ability, squeaked and shook his head profusely.

Abe blushed at the evil smirk on Mihashi's face.

"Good."


	6. Phase One

~~Phase One~~

Rating: Alcohol and mentions of BL: SKIP IF YOU DON"T LIKE! Oh, time-skip.

Summary: What are those two planning for their not-so-better halves?

Character(s): Scheming!Mihashi and Scheming!Hanai (epic duo)

Genre(s): humor

Date Written: 22 September 2011

Date Published: 23 September 2011

Word Count: 231

Dedication: The thunderstorm that cleared away my writer's block. :D Thank you. And that also knocked out my WiFi. Having to post at school when I get my Muse back finally? Thanks Karma.

AN:/: I know...it's sad. And really, really bad. Will be a multi-shot within this collection. :D

"Okay, you got the stuff?"

Hanai grinned knowingly at Mihashi's question. How long had they waited for this day? The day Abe became of legal drinking age...how sweet revenge would be..."Yes."

Mihashi grinned, scrambling over his former captain, trying to get the bag held securely by only slightly longer arms. The struggle seemed to last longer than usual, but it was fine. It wasn't like they were naked or anything.

That would be weird...and suicidal if Abe found out about it.

"Give me the alcohol."

Hanai smirked, knowing just how badly everyone would pay to see the epic fight Abe would be sure to start with liquor in his system, and handed the bag to Mihashi. Tonight would be entirely epic.

He smirked again, reaching into his pocket as Mihashi danced away with the bag in tow. Hanai jumped slightly before blushing as his phone lit up. How did Tajima * do * that?

"Did you give him the stuff?"

He could almost hear the laugh in Tajima's voice, having to stifle his own. And the poor clean-up thought that he would be walking away from tonight scotfree. "Yeah, he got it. Now," Hanai couldn't help but chuckle. "Be a good boy and go get the costumes." If Abe found out about tonight...he, Mihashi, and Tajima would be...let's just leave it at that.

Phase one complete.


	7. Phase Two

~~Phase Two~~

Rating: T

Summary: Maybe the epic duo isn't as smooth as they thought.

Character(s): The usual.

Genre(s): Humor

Date Written: 12 December 2011

Date Published: 12 December 2011

Word Count: 283

Dedication: The slowing of the school world. :D

AN:/: Ugh, so long ago...I kinda forgot where I was going, but...HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABE! (I think...)

Abe glared at his idiotic former teammates as they gathered around, waiting for whatever it was he was told was coming. It wasn't like he didn't trust them—oh wait, he didn't trust them. And for good reason. He could still remember what Tajima had decided to do for his last birthday. *That* had been something to explain to his parents.

Izumi handed him a large cup of Sprite, smiling his little smile. Abe wanted so badly to refuse the drink, but really, he didn't want to be rude. Still...something didn't sit right with him. He drank it anyway, ignoring the funny aftertaste. After all, he *had* been getting sick.

Mihashi and Hanai smirked as Abe downed the last of his third cup of "Sprite" before putting away the liquor for the night. From the way the catcher was flushing, he'd had just enough to do the trick.

Now, where was Tajima with that outfit?

"Oi, Abe!"

_Right on cue._ Mihashi and Hanai thought simultaneously.

Dressed from head to toe as Mihashi (and somehow pulling it off) Tajima leaped over the banister halfway down the staircase in Mihashi's house.

Instead of yelling: "Ur not Miiihashi." He staggered towards where Mihashi stood beside Hanai and took him by the shoulders. "Are you Miiihashi?"

Mihashi fought the urge to diamond-face as he glanced to Hanai for help. This *so* wasn't going according to plan? Where was the yelling? Where was the Tajima beating?

Hanai looked baffled until Abe's arms wrapped around Mihashi's shoulders and he started singing and a quick flash of smugness danced in Abe's eyes. Dammit. He knew.

This was going to be a long, _long,_ night.


	8. Bad Connection: After the Fact

~~Bad Connection...After the Fact~~

Fanfic: 1391

Rating: T for Tajima.

Summary: Mihashi tells Tajima that he's * so * never pitching for him ever again. Tajima agrees before kissing him soundly. Tajima then runs for his life from Abe and Hanai. LOL. Poor Tajima.

Character(s): LOL. Need to guess

Genre(s): Humor, Crack, Stupidity.

Date Written: 1 July 2011

Date Published: 31 January 2012

Word Count: 240

Dedication: The Harvest Mission Trip

AN:/: DO NOT OWN! ((NON-CANON STUFF SO NO SPOILERS!))

The crowds roared as the Nishiura team filled the field as they jumped on Mihashi. The screams were mainly from them, but what does it matter when you managed to win against one of the higher seated schools. Oh, wait, it does matter coz there was still the matter of whether or not Tajima would survive to be one day older.

Mihashi scanned the crowd, looking for the damned little midget. When he finally spotted Tajima, the clean-up had hidden himself behind Hanai. Hanai seemed oblivious to the danger concerning his position as meat-shield.

Did that stop the nearly homicidal Mihashi?

Hell to the no.

"Hanai." The captain looked at Mihashi and began to side step from in front of Tajima.

The ball Mihashi gripped in his naked hand slammed into the fence just _centimeters_ from Tajima's face. Said face turned slowly to the pitcher seething. "Eep."

"Oh Tajima..."

Tajima took off screaming like a little girl out of the stadium.

Mihashi simply grinned evilly. Next time maybe the idiot would think twice about encroaching on _his_ territory. It most likely wouldn't stop him; the bugger _was_ pretty persistent.

At least he wouldn't do it in a game again.

Abe chose that moment to wake up and remember that Tajima nearly cost them the game. But Mihashi smiled. He knew and Abe knew that it was all an act. Abe loved it when Mihashi asserted his dominance.


	9. Won't Be Doing That Again

Fanfic: 1501

Rating: T/M because I do love consistency and paranoia~

Summary: Poor Tajima...Tajima kisses Mihashi only to have blood drawn by Mihashi.

Characters: Tajima, Mihashi, Abe

Date Written: 12 July 2012

Date Published: 14 July 2012

Word Count: 504

Dedication: To my guilt over being unable to update anything. The crappiness of my writing skills is no excuse. D: Forgive me.

AN:/: Believe me, if I owned this fandom, Tajima would never leave the hospital/Hanai's b edroom~

The entire team felt the rage waves emanating from the mass of fury that was currently their vice-captain, Abe. Sometimes it seemed like he overreacted to any nearness of Tajima to *his* Mihashi, today was one of those days. Really, he got worked up over the short stop's arm around Mihashi's shoulders? Really? The team gave a collective eye roll at the histrionics. Well, Hanai didn't, but he's Hanai so he doesn't matter much. Being captain notwithstanding. Then again, it wasn't unlike Tajima to try and pull something with the gullible pitcher due to his uncanny knack for getting himself in positions that could quite possibly end in his demise. But whatever, that was just him.

Abe sighed, re-situating the catchers mask over his face and turning back to Hanai. "Like I was saying, we need to tighten up-"

The collective gasp of the team (and Hanai's horrifically wide eyes) set his Tajima Sense into overdrive. Figures, he turned his back for one freaking second and the little shit started something.

Abe turned, expecting to have to rip off an arm and play "Bludgeon Tajima to Death." He hadn't expected the idiot to _ever_ do something so stupid.

The damn little midget had his lips against *his* pitcher's! Oh hell no!

Breaking through the solid wall of teammates bent on saving the wretch's life, Abe's face morphed into one of inhuman qualities. The team, originally brave enough to try to stop him, backed away quickly as a bat appeared out of nowhere in Abe's hand. They figured it must have been beside him on the ground or something, but they didn't question logic at times like this. They freaking fled for their lives.

In all his blustering rage, Abe failed to notice Tajima's attmepts to flee from Mihashi, who wore a bloody grin, the blood coming from the lip currently caught between his teeth. Just before Abe was within batting range of his skull, Mihashi released Tajima's lip and shoved him away from Abe, stepping between the two with a grin.

Abe blinked twice, not fully registering the event. "The fucker bit you?" He tried to barrel past Mihashi to beat the batter bloody, but Mihashi stepped in his path.

"No, he didn't bite me." Note the lack of stutter.

Abe blinked again, confused. Grabbing Mihashi by the chin, he inspected the boy's lower lip, finding no bite marks. "But...the blood..."

Mihashi laughed, startling the team who felt confused as fuck. Had Mihashi...?

"Not mine." His lips curled into a grin that creeped them out beyond any sense of the word. They slowly backed towards the gate, hoping that whatever demon that possessed Mihashi wouldn't get them too.

Abe smiled evilly. "Well, at least now I won't have to beat him so badly."

INFIRMARY:

"Tajima, do I even need to ask why you need stitches on your lower lip?" Coach Momo tried her best not to imagine what happened. She _really _didn't want to know...


	10. Oh Shit

Date Written: 30 July 2012

Date Published: 30 July 2012

Word Count: 393

Dedication: Sudden inspiration when I really should be getting to sleep.

AN:/: If you spot any errors don't hesitate to tell me. :D

Really, in all of Tajima's blunders, this had to be the biggest.

* * *

><p>What could be so bad that it topped all others previously, you may ask?<p>

Easy. He'd lost Mihashi, but that wasn't the worst of it. Not in the least. He'd lost a _drunk_ Mihashi. In Tokyo. So, no real need to reiterate the severity of his situation should an unnamed, cranky jackass find out about said misplaced Mihashi.

The other teammates (Hanai of course having been selected to derail Abe with "captainly duties") scoured various sections of the city. The. Effing. Huge. City. Well, at least the portion within a mile radius of the last known location.

What d'you mean how'd he get lost? Weren't you paying attenti-oh. Oops, my bad. You weren't there...suffice it to say that invoking Abe's name in the actual dare did strange things to the pitcher's thought process. A wonderful story, but the urgency of the situation demands that it be told at a later date. _If_ Tajima survived the next few hours...He really hoped he could find Mihashi. A bat to the teeth didn't sound too appetizing.

Tajima forced himself to stop and take a breather from his minutes long run. He doubled over, arms wrapped around the chest that felt like it would explode and implode in the same instant. After a few minutes he straightens and begins yet another run. He doubles and redoubles his sector, until he collapsed onto a bench and couldn't move another inch.

Night had fallen. Well, more like twilight, but whatever. Either way, Tajima's worry for his comrade doubled an infinite amount of times. Who knew what could happen to him after hours?

He whipped out his phone, dead set on calling the cops when a splash of sandy brown hair caught the corner of his eye. He glanced down the alley by the bench to double check. The brief relief at finding Mihashi turned to a vengeful one. While it figured that Abe would be the one to find his battery partner, they obviously hadn't figured that Tajima would find _them, _if the way Mihashi had Abe pressed to the wall and damn near mewling was any indication.

His phone found new purpose in snapping a few incriminating pictures for future blackmail before he sent out a mass text to his teammates.

_'Abe found him.'_

~ END


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